Facebook Post: October 25, 2009

October 25, 2009

Dad,

Today I woke up and thought about all the ways I could have done things different. I could have seen all the signs, I could have asked more questions, I could have done it all different. But then I realize that it was not in my hands to change anything. God had his plan for you and I have to accept that. Today is two months since you passed away. I still can remember the way you looked, how warm your body was, even the smell of your hospital room. I wish that I was there with you for just one more hour. To talk to you, hold you, comfort you. I hated to see you there but I found comfort in taking care of you. I loved combing your hair and washing your face. I tried to show you how much I loved you by being there for you. Even though I was helpless, I cherish every moment I had with you. It still feels like you are gone but coming home soon. I can't seem to accept that you are never coming home. It's just too hard right now for me. I haven't been up to the house to visit you in your paint can but Tim, the kids and I will be up next Sunday. I look forward to feeling you in the house and knowing that you are right there with me. I miss you so much and wish that you were still here with me.

It just started snowing out and it looks so beautiful. It is as if you are painting me a beautiful picture of heaven.

I love you daddy so much. I wish I could change everything and have you here with me. I would do anything thing for just a little more time with you.

Jenny